Sigs

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sigsSigs (signatures/handtekeningen) zijn de vaak humoristische quotes/oneliners die mensen onderaan hun email zetten, ze worden ook wel taglines genoemd. Onderaan alle 'sigs' pagina's kun je klikken op 'next' zodat je als je dat wilt eenvoudig alle 'sigs' pagina's achter elkaar kunt lezen. De sigs die ik verzamel zijn allemaal engelstalig en veel sigs hebben iets met computers te maken. Welke sigs je leuk vindt hangt af van je gevoel voor humor en dat is bij ieder mens weer anders.
Vergeet niet om ook een berichtje achter te laten in het gastenboek:

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Sigs new

Age
I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity. -Tom Stoppard
Always
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. -Tony Robbins
Animal
My favorite animal is steak. -Fran Lebowitz
Argument
Argument is meant to reveal the truth, not to create it. -Edward de Bono
Australian
How about an Australian-language version? 'Your program just attempted an illegal instruction. No worries, mate.' -Paul Tomblin
Beauty
The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer. -Joan Collins
Blame
When you blame others, you give up your power to change. -Robert Anthony
Boiling
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. -Mitch Hedberg
Breathing
I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst mistake if I don't. -Steve martin
Certain
I am certain there is too much certainy in the world. -Michael Crighton
Chaos
Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
Cheat
Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test. -Calvin
Common
Common sense is not so common. -Voltaire
Compliment
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. -George MacDonald
Computers
Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Death
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. -Woody Allen
Defeat
Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. -George Edward Woodberry
Delude
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool. -Jane Wagner
Detest
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so. -Stephen Leacock
Die
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. -Bertrand Russell
Do
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. -John Wooden
Doubt
When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder. -James H. Boren
Drink
What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. -Diogenes
Early
Early to bed and early to rise
Is the way to feel stupid and have red eyes. -Shirley Brooks
Equal
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. -Joan Rivers
Europe
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. -Eddie Izzard
Fashion
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -Gilda Radner
Flowers
At my age flowers scare me. -George Burns
Folly
One man's folly is another man's wife. -Helen Rowland
Force
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Fork
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Garden
If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. -Marcus Tullius Cicero
Girls
So many girls, so little time.
Glitters
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Grass
The grass is always greener in an alternate reality.
Hope
One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. -Antonio Porchia
Idealist
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. -Carl Sandburg
Imagination
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
Internet
Internet was down last night. Turns out I have two kids. They seem pretty well-behaved.
Judge
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. -H.L. Mencken
German
One German is a philosopher, two Germans are a beer pub, three Germans are a heavy industry, four Germans are a world war.
Gray
Gray skies are just clouds passing over. -Duke Ellington
Gutter
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. -Oscar Wilde
Heaven
Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company. -Mark Twain
Humor
A sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised. -Tom Robbins
Jog
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. -David Lee Roth
Laugh
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you will sleep alone. -Anthony Burgess
Lawn
A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. -Michael Pollan
Life
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. -Josh Billings
Life
Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. -John W. Gardner
Life
Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it. -Irving Berlin
Life
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. -Fran Lebowitz
Love
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect. -Alanis Morissette
loved
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week. -Lawrence J. Peter
Majority
It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that. -G.H. Hardy
Meek
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. -Don Marquis
Mind
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement? -Fred Allen
Mind
The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking. -A.A. Milne
Modest
Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!
Monogamy
I think serial monogamy says it all. -Tracey Ullman
Moon
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. -Les Brown
Myself
I love myself and the feeling is mutual.
Obscure
Be obscure clearly. -E.B. White
Obstacles
Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal. -E. Joseph Cossman
Opportunity
Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out. -Adrienne Gusoff
Plants
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. -Mitch Hedberg
Please
I only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. -Scott Adams
Predict
The best way to predict the future is to create it. -Pete Drucker
Prepare
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -Mark Twain
Procrastination
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -Don Marquis
Programmers
Real programmers do not read books like "effective listening" and "communication skills".
Punctuality
Punctuality means arriving at work before the boss.
Real
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. -B.F. Skinner
Religion
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. -Napoleon Bonaparte
Responsibility
Responsibility is the price of freedom. -Elbert Hubbard
Restraint
I like restraint, if it doesn't go to far. -Mae West
Roses
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. -Oscar Levant
Rules
The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
Rules
The truth is that many people set rules to keep from making decisions. -Mike Kryzewski
Same
Nothing has been the same since that house fell on my sister.
Sense
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering. -Marilyn vos Savant
Software
There are two ways of contructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. -C.A.R. Hoare
Stamp
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. -Josh Billings
Steal
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Stumble
Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains. -Marilyn French
Succes
Succes is a journey, not a destination.
Talk
The less you talk, the more you're listened to. -Abigail Van Buren
Tax
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
Tense
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
Thin
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people. -Rodney Dangerfield
Things
All things come to him whose name is on a mailing list.
Things
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. -Anais Nin
Trouble
I have had more trouble with myself than any other man I've met. -Dwight L. Moody
Trust
In God we trust - The rest we monitor.
Vision
Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others. -Jonathan Swift
Weather
Bad weather always looks worse through a window. -Tom Lehrer
When
When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. -Bette Midler
Wide
A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad. -Samuel Goldwyn
Wind
No wind serves him who addresses his voyage to no certain port. -Michel de Montaigne
Wisdom
Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise. -Paul Engle
Wise
Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own. -Aesop
Women
Women should be obscene and not be heard. -Groucho Marx
Wonderful
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -Groucho Marx
Wrongs
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. -Lawrence J. Peter


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