Sigs

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sigsSigs (signatures/handtekeningen) zijn de vaak humoristische quotes/oneliners die mensen onderaan hun email zetten, ze worden ook wel taglines genoemd. Onderaan alle 'sigs' pagina's kun je klikken op 'next' zodat je als je dat wilt eenvoudig alle 'sigs' pagina's achter elkaar kunt lezen. De sigs die ik verzamel zijn allemaal engelstalig en veel sigs hebben iets met computers te maken. Welke sigs je leuk vindt hangt af van je gevoel voor humor en dat is bij ieder mens weer anders.
Vergeet niet om ook een berichtje achter te laten in het gastenboek:

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Sigs: G

Gamble
Dont gamble. Take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it til it goes up then sell it. If it dont go up, dont buy it. - Will Rogers
Gambler
I joined Gambler's Anonymous. They gave me two to one I don't make it. -Rodney Dangerfield
Gambling
It's only a gambling problem if you're losing.
Game(1)
Greetings Doctor Falken. How about a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?
Game(2)
If you play a game it's fun. If you work at it it's golf.
Gap
For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.
Garlic
What garlic is to food, insanity is to art.
Gates
If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... Oh, wait, he does!
Gay(1)
I came out to my sister, and she said, 'Oh my god, you're gay! Are you seeing a psychologist?' I answered, 'No, I'm seeing a schoolteacher.' -Bob Smith
Gay(2)
I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with. -Roseanne
Gene
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
General(1)
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard drive?
General(2)
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific. - Steven Wright
Generalization
Generalization is always wrong.
Generalizations
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Genius(1)
Genius is eternal patience. -Michelangelo
Genius(2)
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. -Albert Einstein
Genius(3)
Genius is perseverence in disguise.
Gentlemen
Gentlemen... we're history. -Rufus, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Geologist
Geologist: Fault Finder
Gift
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Girl
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. -Rodney Dangerfield
Girlfriend
A Girlfriend may be a free trial, but you get a life sentence.
Girls
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. -Meatloaf
Give
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. - Joey Adams
Giver
The giver never moans, the moaner never gives.
Glass(1)
I'm not concerned about the glass being half full or half empty. I've always got another bottle.
Glass(2)
The glass isn't half empty. It isn't half full. It's just twice the size it should be.
Glass(3)
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. Unless they don't like the drink, then it's reversed.
Glass(4)
If your glass is half empty, fill it.
Glass(5)
The glass is half empty. Deal with it.
Glasses
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
Glory(1)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius
Glory(2)
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. -Napoleon Bonaparte
Glue
Why doesn't the glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Glutton
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food. -Erma Bombeck
Go
Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -Oscar Wilde
God(1)
God is real until declared integer.
God(2)
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
God(3)
When kids ask why it's raining, tell them it is God crying. When they ask why He is crying, tell them it is probably something they did.
God(4)
God was a woman, until she changed her mind.
God(5)
God is dead. -Friedrich Nietsche
God(6)
God is man's way of glorifying his own importance.
God(7)
He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato
God(8)
When did I realise that I was God? Well I was praying and realised that I was talking to myself.
God(9)
And God so loved the world, He didn't sent a committee...
Going
...going where no clusters have gone before.
Golf(1)
Golf: The only game where lime green pants go with lemon yellow shirts.
Golf(2)
Golf Tip: To get more distance, simply smack the ball & run backwards.
Golf(3)
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her. -Val Doonican
Golf(4)
They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken. -Raymond Floyd
Golf(5)
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. -Jack Benny
Golf(6)
Golf scores are directly proportional to the number of witnesses.
Golf(7)
Golf: Baseball for those that don't have 8 friends.
Golf(8)
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. -Gerald R. Ford
Golf(9)
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. -Jim Bishop
Gone
Gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet.
Good(1)
It would be very good idea. -Gandhi, when asked what he thinks about Western civilization.
Good(2)
You're only as good as your last haircut. -Fran Lebowitz
Good(3)
Good and evil, there is never one without the other. -Merlin, Excalibur
Good(4)
No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you. -Homer Simpson
Good(5)
Good people tend to do good, evil people tend to do evil, but for a good person to do evil that takes religion.
Gossip
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once...
Goth
Goth's not dead, it's just dressed that way.
Government(1)
Government is the Entertainment Division of the military-industrial complex. -Frank Zappa
Government(2)
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. -P.J. O'Rourke
Government(3)
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -P.J. O'Rourke
Government(4)
Government philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.
Government(5)
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul -George Bernard Shaw
Government(6)
A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away. -Barry M. Goldwater
Government(7)
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. -P.J. O'Rourke
Government(8)
Practice safe government. Use kingdoms.
Government(9)
Start your own government, it seems to be a growth industry.
Government(10)
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke
Governments
Governments tend to use statistics much as a drunk might use a street lamp - more for support than illumination.
Grammar
My grammar's terrible. For that matter, so's my grampy.
Grand
Love is grand. Divorce is around twenty grand.
Grandmother(1)
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. -Ellen DeGeneres
Grandmother(2)
If my grandmother had balls, she'd be my grandfather.
Grandparenting
Grandparenting: The stage in life when you get even with your children.
Graphic
Graphic Artist seeks Boss with vision impairment.
Gravitation
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein
Gravity(1)
Gravity sucks
Gravity(2)
Gravity isn't my fault - I voted for velcro!
Gravity(3)
Gravity gets me down.
Great
When you're great people sometimes mistake condor for bragging. -Calvin
Greed
A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
Greetings
Greetings from the Holy Bible Gun Camp.
Gross
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. -Errol Flynn
Groups
It's hard to work in groups when you're omnipotent. -Q in Star Trek The Next Generation: "Deja Q"
Grumpy
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.
GUI
GUI: Golfing Under the Influence.
Guilotine
Do guilotine operators get severance pay?
Guitar
Broken guitar for sale -- no strings attached!
Gun(1)
Gun Fighting Rule: Bring a big gun.
Gun(2)
Gun Fighting Rule: If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
Gun(3)
Gun Fighting Rule: Be polite, be professional, but plan to kill everyone you meet.
Gun(4)
A gun is only dangerous when it's fired.
Gun(5)
Gun Fighting Rule: The faster you finish a gun fight, the less you will get shot.
Guns
If guns cause crime, matches cause arson.
Gym
I want to get in shape, but the gym is two flights up.
Gypsy
Gypsy dwarf escapes jail! Small medium at large!

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