Sigs

Sigs: L

Label

The label "new" and/or "improved" means the price went up.

Lance

When you have a thermic lance, everything looks like hours of fun.

Language(1)

A language is a dialect with an army.

Language(2)

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. -Lily Tomlin

Last(1)

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Last(2)

He who laughs last is probably your boss.

Last(3)

Famous last words: "...Here, hold my beer... watch this..."

Last(4)

He who hesitates is last.

Last(5)

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Last(6)

He who laughs last probably made a backup.

Laugh(1)

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

Laugh(2)

Laugh at your problems - everyone else is!

Law(1)

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important. -Martin Luther King

Law(2)

This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice. -Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Lawfully

I tried to walk a line between acting lawfully and testifying falsely, but I now realize that I did not fully accomplish that goal. -Bill Clinton

Lawn

LAWN: acronym for Local Area Weed Network.

Lawyer

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

Lawyers

Lawyers are the larval stage of politicians.

Leadership

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. -Dwight D. Eisenhower

Learn(1)

For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them. -Aristotle

Learn(2)

If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

Learn(3)

When we write programs that "learn", it turns out we do and they don't.

Learn(4)

If we learn by our mistakes, I'm getting one hell of an education!

Learning

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. -Albert Einstein

Least

Vote for the man who promises least, he'll be the least disappointing. -Bernard Baruch

Left(1)

If you lost your left arm, your right arm would be left.

Left(2)

I left the womb for this?

Legal

It's still legal to go .sigless.

Legless

Beware the legless man who teaches running.

Lend

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Lesbians

I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." -George Costanza (Seinfeld)

Lesson

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. -Homer Simpson

Let

Let no man scrute the inscrutable nor eff the ineffable.

Letter

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short. -Blaise Pascal

Letters

Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive. -Warning label on children's alphabet blocks

Liberal

A liberal is a conservative who's been arrested. A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

Liberty(1)

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding. -Justice Louis D. Brandeis

Liberty(2)

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. -B. Franklin, 1759

Library

Your library is your paradise. -Desiderius Erasmus

License

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

Lie

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election. -Otto von Bismarck

Lies(1)

There are a lot of lies going around, and half of them are true. -Winston Churchill

Lies(2)

There are lies, damned lies and statistics. -Mark Twain

Life(1)

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming "WOW, WHAT A RIDE"

Life(2)

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.

Life(3)

Life is what happens while we are making other plans.

Life(4)

Life is hard. It's even harder if you are stupid.

Life(5)

Life is short, eat dessert first.

Life(6)

If life is but a stage, I want better lighting.

Life(7)

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. -Albert Einstein

Life(8)

Life is terminal.

Life(9)

Life is sexually transmitted.

Life(10)

Does life seem worthwhile to you? HERE'S HOW TO ORDER! Send $20 to...

Life(11)

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. -Fran Lebowitz

Life(12)

Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it. -Lou Holtz

Life(13)

I give up, what is the meaning of life?

Life(14)

Life is just Nature's way of keeping meat fresh.

Life(15)

Life is a comedy to those who think, A tragedy to those who feel.

Life(16)

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. -George Bernard Shaw

Life(17)

Life was meant to be easy, but free will creates complicated issues.

Life(18)

There is more to life than increasing its speed. -Mohandas Gandhi

Life(19)

Life is a brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.

Life(20)

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.

Life(21)

Life - Love it or leave it.

Life(22)

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" -Sydney Harris

Life(23)

Life becomes much easier once you accept you will fail.

Life(24)

Life is half spent before we know what it is. -George Herbert

Life(25)

What is important in life is life, and not the result of life. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Lifespan

The trouble with things that extend your lifespan is that they happen at the wrong end. I'd hate to be wearing Depends at 85 and thinking "I gave up booze and cigarettes for three more years of this."

Light

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Like(1)

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

Like(2)

Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get. -George Bernard Shaw

Likely

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident.

Lilo

Lilo, you've got me on my knees.

Limit

Limit Congressmen to two terms. One in office. One in jail.

Lincoln

If Lincoln was alive today, he'd roll over in his grave. -Gerald Ford

Line(1)

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. -Gilbert Chesterton

Line(2)

A line is a dot that went for a walk. -Paul Klee

Line(3)

That's not line noise... my modem's speaking in tongues!

Linux(1)

Linux is not a desktop OS for people whose VCRs are still flashing "12:00". -Paul Tomblin

Linux(2)

Linux: because rebooting is for adding new hardware.

Linux(3)

Linux - A most satisfying eXPerience.

Linux(4)

Linux - because a computer is a terrible thing to waste.

Linux(5)

We are Linux. Resistance is measured in Ohms.

Linux(6)

Linux is like a wigwam: no Windows, no Gates and Apache inside.

Linux(7)

Linux: the operating system with a CLUE..., Command Line User Environment.

Linux(8)

We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds. -Linus Torvalds

Liquidity

Liquidity tends to run out.

Listen

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Literalists

Christian Biblical literalists are trusting themselves to an archaic English translation of a Latin translation of (help me here) Greek? Aramaic? source. I wouldn't even trust a VCR manual to make it through that intact. -Dr Dee

Live(1)

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. -Mohandas Ganghi

Live(2)

Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right.

Live(3)

I will live for never, or live failing.

Live(4)

May you live every day of your life. -Jonathan Swift

Live(5)

Try to live your life right to the very end.

Lives

People's whole lives do pass in front of their eyes before they die. The process is called LIVING. -Terry Pratchett

Living

As you make a living, don't forget to live.

Lizard

Off to see the Lizard? Follow the Yellow Prick Toad!

Lobotomy

Your surgeon's great! The lobotomy scars hardly show!

Logic

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Lonely

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. -Wayne Dyer

Long

In the long run, everybody will be dead. -J.M. Keynes

Looks

I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

Loop

Loop, Endless: (noun) See Endless Loop.

Loss

What looks like a loss may be the very event which is subsequently responsible for helping to produce the major achievement of your life. -Scrully D. Blotnick

Lost(1)

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. -O. Osbourne

Lost(2)

Some people get lost in thought because it's such unfamiliar territory.

Lost(3)

He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next freeway exit.

Lost(4)

We're lost, but we're making good time.

Lost(5)

I'm not lost, I'm directionally challenged.

Lost(6)

When all else is lost, the future still remains.

Love(1)

Love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Love(2)

Love is two minutes fifty-two seconds of squishing noises. -Johnny Rotten

Love(3)

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Love(4)

Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I love you." -Erich Fromm

Love(5)

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. -Bob Hope

Love(6)

Eternal Love: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles on the tennis court.

Love(7)

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else. -George Bernard Shaw

Love(8)

Love is friendship set on fire. -Jeremy Taylor

Lovely

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. -W. Somerset Maugham

Luck

Luck is when the paths of opportunity and preparation cross.

Lucky(1)

Feel lucky? Update your software!

Lucky(2)

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928 -- keep a lookout for it.

Lucky(3)

I thank my lucky stars I'm not superstitious.

Lunatics(1)

But there are always some lunatics about. It would be a dull world without them. -Sherlock Holmes

Lunatics(2)

All are lunatics, but he who can analyse his delusion is called a philosopher. -Ambrose Bierce

Lurk

I lurk, therefore I am.

Lying

I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.