Sigs

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sigsSigs (signatures/handtekeningen) zijn de vaak humoristische quotes/oneliners die mensen onderaan hun email zetten, ze worden ook wel taglines genoemd. Onderaan alle 'sigs' pagina's kun je klikken op 'next' zodat je als je dat wilt eenvoudig alle 'sigs' pagina's achter elkaar kunt lezen. De sigs die ik verzamel zijn allemaal engelstalig en veel sigs hebben iets met computers te maken. Welke sigs je leuk vindt hangt af van je gevoel voor humor en dat is bij ieder mens weer anders.
Vergeet niet om ook een berichtje achter te laten in het gastenboek:

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Sigs: R

Racing
Horse racing is the sport of kings, drag racing the sport of queens.
Racist
The modern definition of a racist: someone who is winning an argument with a liberal. -Peter Brimelow, Alien Nation.
Radical
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them. -Samuel Clemens
Rain
The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Raise
Never raise your hand to your children, it leaves your midsection unprotected.
Raisins
California Raisins Murdered: Cereal Killer Suspected.
Random
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
Rant
I rant, therefore I am. -Dennis Miller
Rapture
In case of rapture, please grab the wheel.
Rasputin
Rasputin: Jack of All Trades - Master of Nuns.
Rat
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. -Lily Tornlin
Rational
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
Rats
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
Raven
Raise a raven, and it will peck out your eyes. -Spanish proverb
Read(1)
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
Read(2)
To read makes our speaking English good. -Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Read(3)
If you believe everything you read, better no read. -Japanese Proverb
Read(4)
Why Johnny Can't Read -- Now available on VHS...
Reality(1)
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
Reality(2)
Reality.sys corrupted: Re-boot universe? (Y/N)
Reality(3)
Those who would alter reality must first escape it.
Reality(4)
Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. -John Lennon
Reality(5)
Art must take reality by surprise. -Françoise Sagan
Reality(6)
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. -Albert Einstein
Reality(7)
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. -Robin Williams
Reality(8)
Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol.
Reality(9)
Reality is an illusion... caused by a deficiency in alcohol.
Reality(10)
Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
Reality(11)
Reality is directly proportionate to how creative you are.
Rear
Go ahead and rear end me, I am a lawyer.
Reason(1)
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. -Phyllis Diller
Reason(2)
Those who will not reason are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves. -Lord Byron.
Reasonable(1)
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. - George Bernard Shaw
Reasonable(2)
Be reasonable... let's do it my way.
Reasons
A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one.
Reboot
The reboot: useful with Linux but not really necessary. Essential with Windows but not really useful.
Recession
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. -Harry S. Truman
Record
The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
Recursion(1)
I don't like recursion, because I don't like recursion.
Recursion(2)
To know recursion, you must first know recursion.
Recursive
Recursive, adj.: see Recursive.
Recycle
RECYCLE YOURSELF! - BE AN ORGAN DONOR.
Redundancy(1)
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
Redundancy(2)
Redundancy is a great way to introduce more single points of failure.
Regret
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. -Woody Allen
Rehab
Rehab is for Quitters.
Reincarnation
Reincarnation is making a comeback!
Relativity
Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore. -Albert Einstein
Reliability
Cunningham's Third Law:
The reliability of a complex system is inversely proportional to the contactability of the person who knows most about it.
Religion(1)
We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. -Jonathan Swift
Religion(2)
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion. -Jon Stewart: The Daily Show
Religion(3)
Sex is my religion, let us pray.
Religion(4)
And what if we've picked the wrong religion? Every week we're just making God madder and madder!
Religion(5)
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect this theory that his wife is beautiful and his children are smart. - H.L. Mencken
Religion(6)
The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Remember
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
Remind
I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
Renaissance
Gays started with the Renaissance. It was probably two gays at a party saying, 'Wouldn't it be fun to make religious paintings of hot naked guys, and sell them to churches? Oh, that would be a hoot!' -Bob Smith
Repair
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Repeat(1)
To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains. -Mary Pettibone Poole
Repeat(2)
Programmers don't repeat themselves, they LOOP.
Repeat(3)
Programmers don't repeat themselves, they LOOP.
Report
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. -Winston Churchill
Republic(1)
The difference between a republic and a people's republic is a lot like the difference between a jacket and a straight jacket. -Ronald Reagan
Republic(2)
The American Republic will endure, until politicians realize they can bribe the people with their own money. -Alexis de Tocqueville
Republican
As an unwavering Republican, I have quite naturally burned more books than I have read. - Betty Bowers
Requests
I don't normally do requests, unless I'm asked to.
Research(1)
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Research(2)
Science research is the art of devising solutions to problems we don't have and hope not to have. -Ronaldo Menezes
Research(3)
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it? -Albert Einstein
Research(4)
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Research(5)
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. -Wernher von Braun
Research(6)
Enough research will tend to support any theory.
Resist
I can resist everything except temptation.
Resistance(1)
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Resistance(2)
Resistance is useless! (If < 1 ohm)
Resolved
I have resolved all! The demon funzia to the perfection, the plugin is all installs to you! -Google translator
Return
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
Revolt
Inferiors revolt in order that they may be equal, and equals revolt that they may be superior. -Aristotle
Revolutionary
Revolutionary: Disk drives go round and round.
Rhetorical
Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
Rice
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. -Mitch Hedberg
Rich(1)
It's better to live rich than to die rich.
Rich(2)
A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.
Rich(3)
I'd like to be rich but it's too expensive.
Rich(4)
It is better to live rich than to die rich.
Ridicule
To ridicule philosophy is really to philosophize. -Pascal
Right(1)
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
Right(2)
I don't really care about being right you know, I just care about success. -Steve Jobs
Right(3)
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. -Hubert Humphrey
Right(4)
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Right(5)
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. -Rita Rudner
Right(6)
The problem with being right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
Righteous
People are divided into two groups, the righteous and the unrighteous, and the righteous do the dividing. -Lord Cohen
Rights(1)
Individual rights are the means of subordinating society to moral law. - Ayn Rand
Rights(2)
The Bill of Rights - Void where prohibited by Law.
Road(1)
If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
Road(2)
The road less taken is less taken for a reason.
Roll
I was on a roll, until I slipped on the butter.
Rome(1)
When in Rome, overthrow the Romans.
Rome(2)
Rome was not built in a day, probably because IBM was in on the job.
Roof
If your wife wants to throw you off the roof, try to find a low one. -Spanish proverb
Rope
Don't talk about rope in a hanged man's home. -Spanish proverb
Rorschasch
Let's get the hell out of here while we can still pass our Rorschasch tests.
Roses(1)
Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But not this.
Roses(2)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most sigs are funny
This one isn't.
Roses(3)
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, All my base are belong to you.
Rough
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. -Rodney Dangerfield
Rude(1)
Rude alert, rude alert. An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle. Many wurlitzers are missing from my database. Abandon shop. This is not a daffodil, repeat this is not a daffodil. -Holly, Red Dwarf
Rude(2)
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
Rule
Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.
Rulers
What luck for rulers that men do not think. -Adolf Hitler
Rules(1)
The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
Rules(2)
You are remembered for the rules you break. -Douglas MacArthur
Rumour
Trying to squash a rumour is like trying to unring a bell.
Run(1)
Confucius say: He who run behind bus get exhausted.
Run(2)
Gotta run. My neighbors just sighted Elvis making crop circles.
Running
TV Truth: If a woman is running, she will trip and fall.
Runway
Wow, short runway... but just look how WIDE it is!
Rush(1)
Why is it called "rush hour" if it's so damn slow?
Rush(2)
Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!
Russians
The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks. -Emo Philips

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