Sigs

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sigsSigs (signatures/handtekeningen) zijn de vaak humoristische quotes/oneliners die mensen onderaan hun email zetten, ze worden ook wel taglines genoemd. Onderaan alle 'sigs' pagina's kun je klikken op 'next' zodat je als je dat wilt eenvoudig alle 'sigs' pagina's achter elkaar kunt lezen. De sigs die ik verzamel zijn allemaal engelstalig en veel sigs hebben iets met computers te maken. Welke sigs je leuk vindt hangt af van je gevoel voor humor en dat is bij ieder mens weer anders.
Vergeet niet om ook een berichtje achter te laten in het gastenboek:

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Sigs: W

Wagner
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Wait(1)
All computers wait at the same speed.
Wait(2)
Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Wait(3)
Microsoft's new slogan: "Wait for us! We're the leaders!"
Walk
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
Walks
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. -Noel Coward
War(1)
War doesn't determine who's right, but who's left.
War(2)
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. -Ambrose Bierce
War(3)
Religious War: Two or more groups of people killing each other to prove who has the best imaginary friend.
Warm
Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.
Warning(1)
WARNING... drinking tap water may kill your thirst.
Warning(2)
Warning! COLDBEER.CAN found, programmer probably loaded.
Warning(3)
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
Warrior
The basic difference between an ordinary person and a warrior is that a warrrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary person takes everything as a blessing or a curse. -Carlos Castaneda
Wars
You don't win wars by dying for your country. You win by making the other poor bastard die for his country.
Was
I was intelliguntly desined.
Wash
Wife: Didn't your mother teach you to wash your hands after you went to the bathroom? Bobby Grady: No, she taught me not to piss on my fingers.
Waste
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. -Dan Quayle
Watch
It is better to watch things than to do them. -Homer Simpson
Water
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming. -W.C. Fields
Way(1)
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Way(2)
The way to succeed is to double your error rate. -Thomas J. Watson
We
We are the people our parents warned us about. -Jimmy Buffett
Weak
People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage others.
Weapons(1)
Instead of trying to build bigger and better weapons of mass destruction, shouldn't we be trying to get better use of the ones we've already got...
Weapons(2)
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and bones. -Albert Einstein
Weary
Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
Weather
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.
Web(1)
The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.' -Rich Jeni
Web(2)
Think of the Web as a big bathroom wall. And everyone has a marker.
Website(1)
Every fleeting thought you've ever had in your life, no matter how bizarre, is someone's lifelong obsession. And he has a website. -Skif's Internet Theorem
Website(2)
For every subject you can think of there are at least 3 web sites. The owners of these web sites know each other and at least one of them hates at least one of the others. -mnlooney's view of Skif's Internet Theorem
Wedding
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.
Weight
I am a little underweight for my weight.
Weird
People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. -Dan Quayle
Weirdness
Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why. -Hunter S. Thompson
Welcome(1)
Welcome to DALNet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the teenage girls are undercover FBI Agents! -DALNet IRC Welcome Message
Welcome(2)
Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts. -Dan Quayle
Well
All's well that ends. - a programmer's proverb.
Wet
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini. -Alexander Woolcott
Whales
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
What
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Wheels
The Wheels of progress are turned by cranks.
Where(1)
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
Where(2)
Where the f**k did I put my Ginkgo Biloba?
Whole
The whole is the sum of its parts, plus one or more bugs.
Whores
Whores are the most honest girls. They present the bill right away. -Alberto Giacometti
Wife(1)
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield
Wife(2)
How's the wife? Is she at home enjoying capitalism?
Will(1)
Where there's a will, there's a beneficiary.
Will(2)
One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license. -P.J. O'Rourke
Will(3)
Writing a will is a dead give away.
Will(4)
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
Willpower
Willpower is the ability to eat one salted peanut.
Win(1)
Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.
Win(2)
If you can't win with reason go for volume. -Calvin
Wind
Confucius say: Man pees in wind, wind pees back.
Windows(1)
Windows is just another pane in the glass.
Windows(2)
Running Windows is still better than washing them.
Windows(3)
Windows for Workgroups: Why crash just 1 window when you can crash 6?
Windows(4)
Windows gives you a nice view of clouds so you can't see any potentially useful boot time messages. -Bill Hay
Windows(5)
When you say:"I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at you blankly and say: "Hey, I got those with the system - for free." -Linus Torvalds
Windows(6)
Could somebody close the windows?
Windows(7)
When Windows are opened the bugs come in.
Windows(8)
Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses DO something.
Wine(1)
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Wine(2)
Speed things up, make pre-aged wine from old raisins.
Wino
Once I saw this wino who was eating grapes, and I said, "Dude, you have to wait". -Mitch Hedberg
Wisdom(1)
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. -Confucius
Wisdom(2)
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. -Doug Larson
Wisdom(3)
All true wisdom is discovered in tag lines.
Wisdom(4)
The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quotations. -Benjamin Disraeli
Wisdom(5)
Wisdom does not always come with age; sometimes age shows up alone.
Wisdom(6)
Wisdom outweighs any wealth. -Sophocles
Wise(1)
He was a wise man who invented beer. -Plato
Wise(2)
I was wise once, when I was born I cried. -Welsh proverb
Wise(3)
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
Wise(4)
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
Wise(5)
A wise man once said: I don't know.
Wise(6)
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. -William James
Wise(7)
No man was ever wise by chance. -Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Wish
For everything you wish for me, may you have twice of it.
Witch
Wicked witch parking only -- Violaters will be toad.
Witches
Do witches run spell checkers?
Within
Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
Witty
A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire
Woman(1)
Whenever you look at a beautiful woman, always remember that somewhere, someone is tired of her.
Woman(2)
WOMAN.ZIP ... Great program, but no documentation!
Wombat
May the Wombat of Happiness snuffle through your underbrush. -Ancient Aborigine blessing
Women(1)
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. -Friedrich Nietsche
Women(2)
If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
Wonder
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. -Mark Twain
Wood(1)
Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice.
Wood(2)
When you need to knock on wood is when you realize the world's composed of aluminium and vinyl.
Wonder
Philosophy begins in wonder. And, at the end, when philosophic tought has done its best, the wonder remains. -A.N. Whitehead
Word(1)
What's another word for thesaurus?
Word(2)
Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.
Word(3)
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. -Dan Quayle
Words(1)
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. -Josh Billings
Words(2)
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Words(3)
Some people have a way with words, while others... erm... thingy.
Work(1)
Work Hard; Dress Right; Win the Lottery.
Work(2)
The work expands to fill the processor available to it.
Work(3)
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment. -Robert Benchley
Work(4)
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? -Edgar Bergen
Work(5)
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Work(6)
If you feel the need to work, take a nap and the need will pass. -Russian proverb
Work(7)
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Work(8)
Will work for bandwidth.
Work(9)
I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
Work(10)
Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching... -Richard Leigh
Work(11)
Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
Work(12)
I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours.
Work(13)
Work is ... the curse of the drinking classes.
Works
If it works; always tear it apart and find out why.
Working
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to own your own business and work twelve hours a day. -Robert Frost
World(1)
World, it's time to push the button...
World(2)
The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad. -Friedrich Nietsche
World(3)
The world is coming to an end! Please log off.
World(4)
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. -Aldous Huxley
World(5)
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
World(6)
When God created the world, she only tried.
Worm
Confucius say: Early worm have death wish.
Worries
When I look back on all the worries I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened. -Winston Churchill
Worry(1)
Don't worry, this won't hurt.
Worry(2)
Don't worry, the water will be as smooth as glass.
Worry(3)
Don't worry, that dog won't bite.
Worry(4)
Don't worry, it's just a short easy hike.
Worry(5)
Don't worry, the owner lives out of state.
Worry(6)
Don't worry, your wife don't know.
Worse(1)
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. -Oscar Wilde
Worse(2)
Which is worse, ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
Worship
I worship the dirt she treats me like.
Worst(1)
To fear to face an issue is to believe the worst is true. - Ayn Rand
Worst(2)
The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government. -Henry Ward Beecher
Worthless
I'm not completely worthless. I can be used as a bad example.
Write(1)
There arte two ways to write error free programs; only the third one works.
Write(2)
Don't write a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.
Writing(1)
Writing is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to those who have none. -Jules Renard
Writing(2)
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. -Robert A. Heinlein
Wrong
I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.
Wronged
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. -Confucius
WYSIWIT
WYSIWIT - What You See Is What I Typed.

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