Sigs

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sigsSigs (signatures/handtekeningen) zijn de vaak humoristische quotes/oneliners die mensen onderaan hun email zetten, ze worden ook wel taglines genoemd. Onderaan alle 'sigs' pagina's kun je klikken op 'next' zodat je als je dat wilt eenvoudig alle 'sigs' pagina's achter elkaar kunt lezen. De sigs die ik verzamel zijn allemaal engelstalig en veel sigs hebben iets met computers te maken. Welke sigs je leuk vindt hangt af van je gevoel voor humor en dat is bij ieder mens weer anders.
Vergeet niet om ook een berichtje achter te laten in het gastenboek:

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Sigs: T

Tact(1)
Tact : The ability to tell someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the trip.
Tact(2)
Tact is an active quality that is not exercised by merely making a dash for cover. Be sure, when you think you are being extremely tactful, that you are not in reality running away from something you ought to face. - Sir Frank Medlicott
Tact(3)
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. - Howard W. Newton
Tagline(1)
THAT tagline is true --> <-- THAT tagline is false.
Tagline(2)
If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
Tagline(3)
ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo
Tagline(4)
Hi! I'm a tagline virus - copy me!
Tagline(5)
...this tagline is currently out of order.
Tagline(6)
This tagline is SHAREWARE. To register, send me $10.
Tagline(7)
I bought this tagline with all of my lottery money.
Tagline(8)
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute!
Tagline(9)
if (isfunny(tagline)) steal(); else next_msg();
Tagline(10)
I know a good tagline when I steal one.
Taglines(1)
Ifyoucanreadthis, youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines.
Taglines(2)
Taglines can be more interesting than messages.
Taglines(3)
All of my REALLY GOOD taglines are one character too lon
Talent
Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Talk(1)
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. -Rodney Dangerfield
Talk(2)
Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. - Albert Camus
Talk(3)
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something. -Plato
Talk(4)
Anyone who says talk is cheap never hired a lawyer.
Talk(5)
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Talk(6)
I don't mind how much my Ministers talk, so long as they do what I say. -Margaret Thatcher
Target
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. -Ashleigh Brilliant
Tarzan
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Tastes
I am a man of simple tastes, I am always satisfied with the best.
Tax
I've heard that the government wants to put a tax on the mathematically ignorant. Funny, I thought that's what the lottery was! -Gallagher
Taxes
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
Taxpayer
The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service exam. -Ronald Reagan
Teacher
If your teacher tells you to Question Authority. Should you do it?
Teamwork(1)
Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.
Teamwork(2)
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
Teamwork(3)
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Technically
Technically, you'd only need one time traveler convention.
Technicians
Technicians are the only ones that don't trust technology.
Technique
A technique is a trick that works. - Gian-Carlo Rota
Technology
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
Television(1)
Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn't change people's habits. It just kept them inside the house. -Alfred Hitchcock
Television(2)
Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home. -David Frost
Television(3)
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. -Homer Simpson
Tell(1)
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
Tell(2)
Darling, I want to tell the world about our love! - Certainly the neighbours have heard...
Temperature
No matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature. -Steven Wright.
Tempers
Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours. -Frank Moore Colby
Temptation(1)
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
Temptation(2)
Don't worry about temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. -Old Farmer's Almanac
Tennis
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're f*cking relentless. -Mick Hedberg
Terminal
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about. - Douglas Adams
Termite
Termite in pub: "Is the bar tender here?"
Terrorism
Terrorism is the war of the poor and war is the terrorism of the rich. -Sir Peter Ustinov
Terrorist
A terrorist is someone with a bomb, but without an air force.
Test(1)
Never test for an error condition you can't solve.
Test(2)
I can tell you from past experience the 291 test isn't so much a certification exam as a Microsoft trivia contest. -zennman1661
Testing
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Texas
Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. -Butch Hancock
Theories
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Theory
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they aren't.
Therefore
I am, therefore, I think. I think.
Thesaurus
Thesaurus: Ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
Thin
I found there was only one way to look thin. Hang out with fat people. -Rodney Dangerfield
Thing
If all else fails, you can always unplug the bloody thing.
Things
Things are more like they are now than they have ever been. -Gerald Ford
Think(1)
Have you ever stopped to think, and forget to start again?
Think(2)
I think, therefore I am confused.
Think(3)
You will care much less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do. - Oscar Wilde
Think(4)
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
Think(5)
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
Think(6)
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. -B.F. Skinner
Think(7)
At times I think and at times I am. -Paul Valery
Think(8)
I think... therefore I am confused.
Think(9)
Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us. -Jean Rostand
Think(10)
I think I think, therefore I might be.
Thinker
A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions - as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all. -Friedrich Nietsche
Thinking(1)
Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself. - Plato
Thinking(2)
Thinking men cannot be ruled. - Ayn Rand
Thinking(3)
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. -George S. Patton
Thinking(4)
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax -Charles Kettering
Thinly
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Thoroughly
If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.
Thou
Thou shalt not admit adultry.
Thought(1)
Big Boy Caprice: Wait a minute! Wait. Wait. I'm having a thought. Oh yes. Oh yes. I'm going to have a thought. It's coming. It's coming. ...It's gone.
Thought(2)
A thought for the day is more than most people can handle.
Thoughts(1)
Change your thoughts and you change your world. -Norman Vincent Peale
Thoughts(2)
All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking. - Friedrich Nietsche
Three
There are three types of people in this world: the ones who can count, and those who can't.
Tick
What makes me tick? I don't know, but the noise is driving me nuts.
Tiger(1)
To wake a tiger, use a long stick.
Tiger(2)
Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food. -George Bernard Shaw.
Tight
Confucius say: Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Time(1)
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
Time(2)
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. -Hector Berlioz
Time(3)
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. -Woody Allen
Time(4)
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do. -Bill Watterson
Time(5)
Time flies when your having rum.
Time(6)
There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
Time(7)
One of the major problems of time travel is... one of grammar. -The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
Time(8)
Time flies like wind. Fruit flies like pears.
Time(9)
Time flies like wind. Fruit flies like pears.
Time(10)
Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. -William Penn
Timetravel(1)
There's no future in timetravel.
Timetravel(2)
A seminar on timetravel will be held last week.
Tip
Tech Tip #132: Have it up and running before you say "just five more minutes."
Toad
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Today
Things to do today: Get up. Survive. Go to bed.
Toilet(1)
Confucius say - 'He who stands on toilet is high on pot'.
Toilet(2)
Make your life like toilet paper, long and useful.
Tolerate
There's only two kinds of people in this world I can't tolerate. People intolerant of other peoples cultures, and Canadians.
Tomb
Confucius say: Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy.
Tombs
"Let's visit tombs", said Tom cryptically.
Tomorrow(1)
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Tomorrow(2)
We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward. -Dan Quayle
Tomorrow(3)
Don't put off until tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today.
Tonight
Not tonight honey. I have a modem.
Tool(1)
A successful tool is used to do something undreamed of by its author. - Johnson
Tool(2)
The most useful tool for dealing with management types is, of course, an automatic weapon.
Tools
The free society willingly provides the tools that the dictatorship needs to control it later.
Top(1)
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Top(2)
"I'll top the cake with sugar," she said icily.
Tortoise
Why did God give the tortoise a drag factor of 0.03?
Tough(1)
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
Tough(2)
When the going gets tough, it's time for a nap.
Tough(3)
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
Toy
An inbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Traces
It's impossible to move, to live, to operate at any level without leaving traces, bits, seemingly meaningless fragments of personal information. -William Gibson
Tragedies
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. -George Bernard Shaw
Tragedy
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. -Mel Brooks
Treachery
Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
Tree
Save a tree. Eat a beaver.
Trees
No trees were killed in the creation of this message; however, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Tribble(1)
* <- Tribble      _ <- Tribble vs. Godzilla.
Tribble(2)
* <- Tribble      *..* <- Tribble Family.
Tribble(3)
* <- Tribble      % <- Siamese Twin Baby Tribbles.
Tribble(4)
* <- Tribble      ./* <- Tribble with pet on a leash.
Tribble(5)
* <- Tribble    & <- Tribble practicing Yoga.
Tribble(6)
* <- Tribble    ~ <- Very Drunk Tribble.
Tribble(7)
* <- Trbble     ! <- Tribble With A Mohawk.
Trouble(1)
Trouble is the beginning of disaster. -Russian proverb
Trouble(2)
Don't wake up trouble while trouble is sleeping. -Russian proverb
Trouble(3)
When in trouble, delegate.
Trust(1)
Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
Trust(2)
I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Trust(3)
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
Trust(4)
In God we trust, all others we monitor.
Trust(5)
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
Truth(1)
Truth is an excuse for a lack of imagination. -Garak in Star Trek Deep Space Nine
Truth(2)
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. -Rodney Dangerfield
Truth(3)
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. -Albert Einstein
Truth(4)
Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
Truth(5)
The truth is out there? Does anyone know the URL?
Truth(6)
Abandon the search for truth: settle on a good fantasy.
Truth(7)
Speak the truth and leave shortly thereafter.
Truth(8)
Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible. -Francis Bacon
Truth(9)
The truth is out there... does anyone know the URL?
Truth(10)
Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived. - Oscar Wilde
Truths(1)
All great truths begin as blasphemies. -George Bernard Shaw
Truths(2)
All great truths begin as blasphemies. -George Bernard Shaw
Try
Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -Yoda
Trying
Trying is the first step towards failure. -Homer Simpson
Tubby
Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
Tuna
Tuna just doesn't taste the same without the dolphins!
Turkeys
God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
Turnout
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. -Dan Quayle
Turtle
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
Typos
Typos? Blame the cat.
Tyranny
Men will opt for tyranny when chaos is clawing at the edge of their survival. They will forfeit their liberty in hopes of establishing stability. -Nelson Hultberg

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