Sigs

Sigs: I

I(1)

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!

I(2)

I was homeskooled.

I(3)

A yer ago I kudn't spel progrmer now I are won.

IBM

IBM: Idiots Built Me

Idea

Sounds like a good idea, but let's use it nevertheless.

Ideas

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. -Howard Aiken

Idiot(1)

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

Idiot(2)

Everytime you make something idiot-proof, some bastard re-invents the idiot!

Idiot(3)

Idiot (id-ee-it) n. - One who disagrees with you.

If

You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you. -Yogi Berra

Ignorance(1)

Ignorance is curable, stupidity is fatal.

Ignorance(2)

Ignorance should be painful.

Ignorance(3)

Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance, is the death of knowledge. -Alfred North Whitehead

Ignorance(4)

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Ignorant

Everybody is ignorant. Only on different subjects. - Will Rogers

Illegitimacy

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it. -Dan Quayle

Illiterate

Illiterate? Write for free help.

Image

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. -Richard M. Nixon

Imaginary

Is there an imaginary cure for hypochondria?

Imagination(1)

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. -Josh Billings

Imagination(2)

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -Albert Einstein

Imagination(3)

Imagination is intelligence having fun.

Imagination(4)

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. -Horace Walpole

Imagine

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. -Nicole Hollander

Imam

If imam farts, the community will shit. -Turkish proverb

Imitate

Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing. -Salvador Dali

Imitation

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Immature

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats. -Woody Allen

Immigration

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery. -Jack Paar

Immortality(1)

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. - Woody Allen

Immortality(2)

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. -Susan Ertz

Immortality(3)

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. -James Grover Thurber

Impediment

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breath. -Jimmy Durante

Imperfect

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. -Doug Larson

Important(1)

Nothing important is happening today. -King George III of England, July 4, 1776.

Important(2)

The two most important strategies for success in web design: 1. Never reveal all you know.

Impossible(1)

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. -Melissa O'Brien

Impossible(2)

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done. -Louis D. Brandeis

Impossible(3)

It is possible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. -William G. McAdoo

Impossible(4)

When you decide something is impossible to do, try to stay out of the way of the person that's doing it.

Impossible(5)

To believe a thing is impossible is to make it so.

Impotence

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

Improved

Improved: Almost works the second time. See Upgrade.

In

Their iz ate errers in these sentance.

Inaccuracy

I don't mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

Inch

Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.

Inches

Snow White:"I wanted seven inches, but not one at a time."

Include(1)

Include me out. -Samuel Goldwyn

Include(2)

Include this in your CONFIG.SYS file: BUGS=OFF

Incompetence

Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.

Incomplete

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Incomprehensible(1)

Be incomprehensible. If they can't understand, they can't disagree.

Incomprehensible(2)

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible. -Albert Einstein

Incontinence

Incontinence Hotline... Can you hold, please? Thanks...

Inconvenience

AffordableHost.com is "really sorry for [our] inconvenience."

Incredible

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -Carl Sagan

Incremental

Jesus saves, but only Buddha makes incremental backups.

Indecision

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

Indecisive

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Independant

Machine independent code isn't.

Indicision

Indicision may or may not be my problem.

Indignation

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. -H.G. Wells

Individual(1)

The greatest things are accomplished by individual people, not by committees or companies. -Fay Weldon

Individual(2)

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. -Friedrich Nietsche

Individualists

Individualists of the world, unite!

Inept

I used to be inept but, with practice, I became ept.

Infallible

I am not infallible! Omniscient yes, but infallible?

Infinite

There are only two things that are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not at all sure about the former. -Albert Einstein

Information(1)

Information is not knowledge. -Albert Einstein

Information(2)

Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense. -Gertrude Stein

Innovation(1)

Innovation is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure. -Albert Einstein

Innovation(2)

Nothing improves an innovation like lack of controls.

Insane

When you deal with the insane, always pretend you're sane.

Insanity(1)

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Insanity(2)

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. -Friedrich Nietsche

Insanity(3)

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. -Hunter S. Thompson

Insanity(4)

Insanity is hereditary - You get it from your children.

Insanity(5)

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

Insert(1)

Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.

Insert(2)

It said, 'Insert disk #3,' but only two will fit!

Inside

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

Insight

A moment's insight in sometimes worth a life's experience.

Insomnia

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Installation

RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!

Instant

I don't have time to wait for instant gratification.

Instantaneous

Instantaneous gratification just isn't fast enough anymore.

Insufficient

Your E-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage...

Intel

Intel Inside... The world's most widely used warning label.

Intellectual(1)

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. - Woody Allen

Intellectual(2)

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself. - Albert Camus

Intelligence(1)

No one ever went broke in Hollywood underestimating the intelligence of the public. -Elsa Maxwell

Intelligence(2)

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

Intelligence(3)

The difference between intelligence and stupidity is that intelligence has its limits.

Intelligence(4)

Intelligence is useless unless it goes hand in hand with common sense.

Intelligent

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Intensely

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. -Michel de Montaigne

Interests

The idea that 'the public interest' supersedes private interests and rights can have but one meaning: that the interests and rights of some individuals take precedence over the interests and rights of others. - Ayn Rand

Interface

The only ""intuitive"" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned. -Bruce Ediger

Internet(1)

The internet is a great way to get on the net. -Bob Dole

Internet(2)

On the internet, nobody knows you're a jerk.

Interpretation

Interpretation is the revenge of the intellectual upon art. -Susan Sontag

Interrupt(1)

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. -Napoleon Bonaparte

Interrupt(2)

We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating.

Interviewing

Interviewing Avril Lavigne is like being hit over the head with a shovel - an unpleasant experience, which leaves you feeling dazed and hoping it never happens again. -Belfast Telegraph

Intimate

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there are three other people.

Intimicy

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. -Gary Shandling

Invisible

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

I/O

I/O, I/O, It's off to disk I go, to read or write a bit or byte. I/O, I/O, I/O.

IQ

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Iraq

As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil, it's about gasoline. -Jay Leno

Irreversable

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change. -Dan Quayle

It

It denos't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, it's olny iprmoatnt taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.