Sigs

Sigs: N

Nail

If you only have a nail every tool looks like a hammer.

Naked(1)

A naked man fears no pickpocket.

Naked(2)

If God wanted us to be naked, why did he invent sexy lingerie? - Shannen Doherty

Nationalism

Nationalism is an infantile sickness. It is the measles of the human race. -Albert Einstein

Natural

Natural laws have no pity.

Nature(1)

When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. -John Muir

Nature(2)

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences. -Robert Green Ingersoll

Nature(3)

If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy. -Kurt Vonnegut

Navy

Join the Navy and feel a man!

Necessity

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. -Roger van Oech

Neck

A politician's neck should always have a noose around it. It keeps him upright. -Robert Heinlein

Neckties

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee

Necrophile

If a necrophile does sex with dead people, what does an audiophile do?

Need(1)

A friend in need is a pain indeed.

Need(2)

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Neighbor

Love your neighbor as yourself, but don't take down the fence. -Carl Sandburg

Neighbour

Love thy neighbour, but don't get caught.

Nerves

Nothing cures a case of nerves like a case of beer.

Nervous

My computer isn't that nervous... it's just a bit ANSI.

Net

It can be shown that for any nutty theory, beyond-the-fringe political view or strange religion there exists a proponent on the Net. The proof is left as an exercise for your kill-file. -Bertil Jonell

Network

Network management is like trying to herd cats.

Neurosis

Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity. -Sigmund Freud

Neurotics

Neurotics build castles in the air. Psychotics live in them, and Psychiatrists charge them rent.

Neutron

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender replies, 'For you, no charge.'

Never(1)

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never(2)

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never(3)

I never liked you, and I always will. -Samuel Goldwyn

Never(4)

Never make any mistaeks.

Never(5)

Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for.

News(1)

News is what people want to keep hidden and everything else is publicity. -Bill Moyers.

News(2)

They wouldn't be called news stories if we didn't make something up. -The Daily Show

News(3)

When the news breaks, we fix it. -The Daily Show

News(4)

The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were. -David Brinkley

Newsgroup

This newsgroup is so important; we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.

Newton(1)

I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people -- Isaac Newton

Newton(2)

If I have seen further than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants. -Sir Isaac Newton

Nice(1)

If you have nothing nice to say, be rude.

Nice(2)

You don't have to be nice to people on the way up if you're not planning on comming back down. -Oliver Warbucks, "Annie"

Nicer

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

Nietsche

"God is dead" -Nietsche - "Nietsche is dead" -God

Nightmares

No wonder you're having nightmares, you're always watching the news. -Lori, Total Recall

Nobel

A Nobel Peace Prize? I'd kill for one of those.

Nobody

A girl called me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. -Rodney Dangerfield

Noise

That's not line noise... my modem's speaking in tongues!

Nonconformist

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? -James Thurber

Nonconformists

Why do Nonconformists all look alike?

Normal(1)

Everyone seems normal - until you get to know them.

Normal(2)

Normal is what cuts off your sixth finger and your tail.

Noses

Noses run in our family.

Nostalgia

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Not

It's not ncie to mkae fnu of teh dylsexic!

Nothing(1)

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

Nothing(2)

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

Nothing(3)

Nothing is impossible, even the possibility of this sentence being false.

Nothing(4)

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything. -Alexander Hamilton

Nothing(5)

Nothing is so simple that it can't get screwed up.

Nothing(6)

Nothing shocks me, I'm a scientist. -Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones

Notice

If the gods notice you, it doesn't matter who overlooks you.

Now

And now, excuse me while I interrupt myself. -Murray Walker

Nuclear(1)

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

Nuclear(2)

There is only one way to get rid of nuclear weapons... use them. -Rush Limbaugh

Nuclear(3)

There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will. -Albert Einstein, 1932

Nude

If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.

Nurse

Confucius say: If you want pretty nurse, you go to be patient.

Nursing

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. -Gerhard Kocher